ArizonaButterfly

Mother’s Day is bittersweet without my Mom. I think of her everyday and wish she were here, but days like today are just a little tougher and a little sadder.

Memory of You

Early one morning, I looked toward the blue
And saw the most beautiful memory of you
The vision was one that was perfect and clear
In proving your spirit shall always be near
The sight, filled with wonder, stretched across the sky
Its presence eased the ache found in our goodbye
For, suddenly, I knew we would meet once more
As angels, united, inside Heaven’s door.

I stood in amazement, gazing near the sun
And realized your struggles, here on earth, were done
After many battles, your burdens had ceased
Your hardships had ended; your soul was at peace
Throughout many hours, I sat and I grieved
But in that reminder, my heart felt relieved
The sight which had formed, right before my eyes
Brought my heart much comfort in the midst of sighs.

Early one morning, I looked ‘cross the blue
And saw the most beautiful memory of you
The vision was one that had prompted a tear
Yet, proved to my heart you will always be near
A rainbow had formed from the sky to the sea
A testament of the joy you brought to me
Serving as a promise we will meet again
In the walls of Heaven, far from grief and pain.
~Jill Eisnaugle

There are times when there’s a great deal of activity (usually illegal) that occurs in the alley behind my house. It usually involves kids making stupid choices, although I know of at least once that the police chased (on foot) someone down the alley. The alley does not go all the way through so it’s easy to tell people who don’t normally use it because they get just past my back yard and realize they’re going to have to back out of the alley the way they came in. I have very little problems because 300 pounds of barking, growling dogs are a great deterrant for most people.

So imagine my surpirse (and irritation) when someone knocked on my BACK door at 1:52 a.m. this morning.

He’d jumped my fence (the back gate is padlocked) to come to the back door to ask me to borrow a shovel because he’d gotten his van stuckin the alley. I told him no. When he became a bit unpleasant, which was surprising because the dogs were already trying to get him through the security door, I told him I was letting the dogs out in 30 seconds.

I’m happy to report that he made a good choice and left my yard. I let the dogs stand at the back fence and perform for him for a little while and then we all went back to bed (after each dog had a little snack of course).

Lucy and Luke watching television together. This is the first time I’ve noticed Luke actually paying attention to the movement on the screen. Maybe it’s the new hdtv? Lucy went over quite often to check on Luke and give him a little kiss. Cotton was already staking out the bed for his sleeping place tonight.
Today was a rough day. I was reminded how ugly people can act at times. It made me even more thankful to come home to my furry friends, who are always happy to see me and love on me, even if I would prefer they didn’t lick me quite so much.

I came home today to discover that the boys had eaten my beautiful daisies…as well as knocking over two chairs, the pots and spilling dirt everywhere. Since I also found a dead gopher, I suspect the gopher had something to do with all the mess. *sigh* I have some hanging planters that I just need to get up and planted. They should last longer because the dogs won’t be able to reach them.

Blatent manipulation and churlish behavior annoy me to no end. My nephew had surgery last Friday. My niece let me know, staying in contact with me. This morning I tried to call my SIL to see how things were going and she hung up on me. Twice. *sigh*

The days at work have been extremely long. I’m thankful there are only 18 days left in the school year.

It’s a lovely day out. Luke is certainly enjoying the day. John installed my new water heater for me before he and Sarah left for a conference on Wednesday. It’s nice to have such good friends!

My doctor’s appointment didn’t go so well on Tuesday, and I’ve been really tired all week trying to adjust to new meds and deal with the news. While surgery is almost inevitable, getting my blood pressure under control has to happen first. Even on meds the bottom (diastolic) number is rarely below 100. I think it’s supposed to be below 80. This morning my blood pressure was 121/109.

Imagine my surprise when I went to take a shower after mowing the front and side yards last night to discover no hot water! It was warm enough that I was able to somewhat enjoy the shower, but nevertheless the water heater was out. John came by this morning and lit it three times. It always lights but doesn’t stay lit. And so sometime in the (hopefully) near future I’ll be purchasing a new water heater. Ironically if it had waited a month or so I might not have even really noticed because once the temperature outside never dips below 90F or so at night, the water is never truly cold. *sigh*

Why is it so difficult to go back to work after a break? And it’s not that work has been “bad,” it’s just the principle of it all. The principle, and getting up early again. The state has been visiting the past two days, and they’ll be with us again tomorrow for their last day.

Adjusting to the new meds has been interesting. This may be TMI, but I was convinced I was having night sweats because of my age…but they turned out to be because of my heart, which resulted in one of my new meds. I’m supposed to take this one at around 5. Last night I didn’t get around to it until 7, and then had to take it with another med. Bad idea. My leg tingled and felt hot until about 2 a.m. I took it on time this evening in the hopes of sleeping better tonight.

I haven’t been sleeping well which has given me lots of time to think… 

I’ve made some wonderful friends online. Every day I’m thankful for them and the different ways they brighten my life, even though we haven’t met in person. Sometimes I find it hard to remember what I did with all my time before the Internet came along, perhaps because I’ve been blogging for the past nine years. I’m doubly blessed because I have some great friends offline as well.

Having said all that, there are times when I am frustrated, because actions really do speak louder than words. Right now my feelings are a bit raw by actions from people claiming to be such great friends full of love and all that. There actions do not send the same message, which leaves me confused and hurt. I think I’m at a point in my life where I believe I deserve to be treated better than that, and I also think I’m at a place where I need to wean out the people whose actions and words are rarely sending the same message. 

Life is too short and too precious to do otherwise.

I have a new chair in my living room. Cotton isn’t too sure he’s allowed up. He is of course. I’d have to sleep in the living room to keep them off the furniture at night. He finally realized it was okay and relaxed. It’s a comfy chair.

It’s Easter. Sarah and John are coming over later for dinner. Which means I should be cleaning house at the moment. We’re having ham, potato salad, sweet corn, salad, veggies, strawberries, blackberries, pineapple (all fresh) and angel food cake. It almost sounds healthy doesn’t it?

I have a new tv and home theater system to go with the chair. Actually I think it was the chair that was purchased to go with the tv, but that’s not important. Anyway I had to get an optic cord to get the surround sound to work correctly when I’m watching tv. So this morning I put August Rush in the dvd player and couldn’t figure out how to get the surround sound to come on with the movie. After several tries, including reading the manual, I turned the dvd off and watched tv instead. I had trouble with one remote and now I have three.

I haven’t been sleeping well with the new meds. Last night was particularly difficult as I was very uncomfortable after taking it. According to the information that came with it the side effects should lessen with time. I’ll be checking that out with my doctor in the morning.

Spring break is over. It seems like it should just be starting. This is the first year my district has had a one week spring break instead of two. It’s strange because most of the neighboring districts still have two weeks. Schools here are very resistant to going to school past Memorial Day which is why we start school in early August.

So it’s back to school tomorrow, and a team from the state will be visiting for the first three days. Surprisingly enough I’m not all that nervous about the whole thing. The older I get the more I realize that not everyone is going to be satisfied with what I do, no matter how hard I try. So it becomes even more essential to stay focused on what’s really important (the students) and let the rest take care of itself for the most part.

Okay that’s enough work talk for Sunday. The weather is beautiful out. Now if the neighbor kids would come and finish the job they started (spreading rocks) I’d be very happy. They started Friday, said they’d be back Saturday morning, and now it’s Sunday and nothing. I’m glad I didn’t pay them yet.