Why Bother?
And so I end the day irritated.
I’m aware of my “status” within the family. So much so that not hearing from them over the holiday did not throw me into a swirl of despair, but rather was faced with relief that no one had to fake their way through an inane conversation. I received no acknowlegement of gifts received, no cards, nothing. I knew it would be that way before the holiday season began and still made a conscious choice to bestow gifts as I chose, in the spirit of the season.
So today I get an email full of accusation. “What did you do with…..” and the like. Now the polite thing to do would be to at least mention a holiday thought and if that wasn’t possible to wait a day or two after the holiday before beginning the game.
Except I refuse to play the game. It’s been about 9 months since I’ve had any contact with one, and 3-4 months for the other. As painful as that might be at moments, I will not play the game anymore. I refuse to be manipulated into a situation that I know is not in my own best interest. It doesn’t matter how nasty they become, I will not play. Life is too short for that type of negativity.
Not that it’s been easy. It’s hard to accept that someone who supposedly “loves” you is so willing to work so hard to destroy you “for your best interest.” It hard to realize that buried truths are ridiculed as lies with no regard to emotional damage to look good for a woman not fit to be near my mother’s house. Each new attack is a vibrant reminder of the choice I’ve made and the fight I fight to not be drawn back into the nastiness, manipulation, and lies.
Some days giving up seems like the better option. What’s the point if the people who “should” love unconditionally have nothing but hatred and a desire to see me fail?
Sue, I’m sorry your family has turned out this way. Unfortunately, that is the way it happens to some. I am glad to see how strong you’ve become and are not giving into the negativity. Stay strong! HUGS!
Sue, you know that John and I wish we could make them all disappear, but we know that can’t happen. Please don’t let them win. With all of your uccess and knowledge, use your head and not your heart. They would be so happy to see you get angry and become just like them. We know that you are way better then than that and when you finally reaize it, you will be much happier and will be able to go on from here. I feel sorry for them, because they are missing out on a great person’s heart and mind. Please be reassured that they will be sorry hen it is too late. Love you and I hope that we can help out anyway that we can. Sarah and John
I know exactly how you feel. My SIL decided that my daughter and I were going to be a target for her hatred and envy. Like you, I have decided to let it all go. She continues to try and bait me and I refused to be sucked in to her little world. You are making the best choice by ignoring them as difficult as that may be. Sometimes your own family can be the hardest people to love and to forgive.