ArizonaButterfly

It’s pretty muggy out today, which is very unusual for here, except during monsoon season. Last weekend we got over 2 inches of rain. Usually a “good” monsoon brings 2.77 inches. While I’m certainly not complaining about rain, it is not pleasant to be outside.

After my latest doctor’s report I broke down and hired someone to mow my lawn this weekend. He’s here now and the dogs are going crazy. I reminded him (twice) that when I was feeling better I would be taking over again and so not to mow again without checking with me. He’s done with the front and side and it looks great.

It’s been an emotional week. I’m looking forward to regaining some equilibrium this weekend.

Another peaceful picture taken in Oro Valley. Don’t be fooled by the beauty though. The humidity when I was there was in the high 80%s every day, making it not as comfortable as you might imagine.

I’ve been having a difficult time breathing lately. My guess was the increased difficulty was a result of the less-than-stellar air quality we’ve had lately, coupled with the humidty settling in the past few days. After consulting with my doctor, I was sent home with a new inhaler and a nebulizer. Unfortunately, neither of them seem to be helping, nor is sleeping half-sitting up. I find myself coughing and gasping in regular intervals throughout the day and night. And, it’s not worse at night as has been the case with asthma (for me) in the past.

So after calling in late last night, I went in for a CT scan, a scope thing (I can’t remember the name) and full blood work up beginning before the sun rose this morning. Whichever doctor is on call will be giving me a call later today if the results are back. Until then I have my old inhaler back (for emergencies) and no nebulizer (since it wasn’t actually helping anyways). Any other medicine or treatment will depend on the results.

[It's amazing to me that they really "can" get results back that quickly when they push it. Because normally I'd be waiting 4-6 days (at a minimum) to find out anything.]

I have the flu and am miserable.

It’s a lovely day out. Luke is certainly enjoying the day. John installed my new water heater for me before he and Sarah left for a conference on Wednesday. It’s nice to have such good friends!

My doctor’s appointment didn’t go so well on Tuesday, and I’ve been really tired all week trying to adjust to new meds and deal with the news. While surgery is almost inevitable, getting my blood pressure under control has to happen first. Even on meds the bottom (diastolic) number is rarely below 100. I think it’s supposed to be below 80. This morning my blood pressure was 121/109.

Why is it so difficult to go back to work after a break? And it’s not that work has been “bad,” it’s just the principle of it all. The principle, and getting up early again. The state has been visiting the past two days, and they’ll be with us again tomorrow for their last day.

Adjusting to the new meds has been interesting. This may be TMI, but I was convinced I was having night sweats because of my age…but they turned out to be because of my heart, which resulted in one of my new meds. I’m supposed to take this one at around 5. Last night I didn’t get around to it until 7, and then had to take it with another med. Bad idea. My leg tingled and felt hot until about 2 a.m. I took it on time this evening in the hopes of sleeping better tonight.

Cotton’s vet visit was pretty successful. He behaved like a champ once we were there, although I had to lift him into the car both times. He’s gained 2 pounds over the past year, but the vet said he was very healthy. They yanked his bad toenail off (ouch)! He came home (after I lifted him back into the car) with a painkiller.

I didn’t know if I was going to make it without coffee this morning, but of course I did. The lab tech couldnt’ find any veins in my arm so she drew blood from my hand instead. I was amazed at how much it swelled up. I’m going to have a lovely bruise tomorrow I guarantee.

Then it was off to the Women’s Health Center for the diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound. I knew about one lump. Unfortunately the ultrasound found another which the first mammogram missed so it was back for more mammogram pictures. I’m always amazed at the technological progress being made with these types of screenings. My doctor will be calling me in the next few days to tell me the next steps. My guess is it will be time for yet another biopsy. I don’t want to sound defeatist, but I really am very frustrated with my body and all of this.

I had a doctor’s appointment this morning. No surprise–by blood pressure was high. They took me back for an EKG immediately. Since I had coffee this morning, I have to go back tomorrow morning before coffee and have blood drawn. Then it’s off for a diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound. I was amazed that they were able to get me in so quickly for the mammogram…most people end up waiting months for an apointment. I’m not sure if that’s a good sign or not.

Later this afternoon I’m taking Cotton to the vet to have his paw looked at and to get his vaccinations. I’m doing the one dog at a time routine for the vaccinations. I’m still not sure how I’m going to manage Luke, but maybe he’ll surprise me and be a bit calmer about the whole thing this time around.

I am out of remission. I thought at first that surgery would be an option, but was told that it really isn’t a good option for me at this point. There is one drug treatment that my doctor is recommending, but it’s the one that I have always been reluctant to do. She pointed me towards some good places to get reliable information on the medication, and I have to admit it seems a much better treatment now than it was when it first came out, but I’m still very hesitant. They won’t be able to start until I heal a bit more from the biopsy last Saturday.

I’m physically tired. And, my spirit is tired as well.

Things are hectic at work right now and I realized after I found out that there was a distinct possibility that I might not be offered a contract because of health issues. Apparently they don’t have to give administrators a reason for nonrenewal of contract, a little piece of information that was shared with me after I received my news yesterday.

I really didn’t need one more thing to fret about at the moment.

So today’s my birthday. I went out to eat last night with my favorite people to McGrath’s Fish House, one of my favorite restaurants. For whatever reason, their web site is down. I had red snapper and it was delicious. After dinner we did a bit of shopping. It was a lovely evening and the perfect way to celebrate.

This morning I’ve been doing the usual Sunday stuff: laundry and cleaning. I’ve been invited to go out for a movie and lunch later this morning but haven’t decided yet if I’m going or not. Yesterday morning I had a biopsy and I’m still a bit sore from it. I wonder why it takes so long to get results back? Anyway, I won’t know until later in the week.

There’s something peaceful about the ocean in the early morning don’t you think?

No, I’m not anywhere near the ocean either, I was just looking at pictures from my trip last summer and thinking about how nice it would be to be on the beach listening to the water.

My mixed feelings towards doctors continue…my oncologist retired and I don’t like her replacement. She of course had every right to retire, and I hope she enjoys her retirement. I highly doubt that I’ll ever find a doctor I respected and appreciated as much as her. The doctor she referred her patients to had hard shoes to fill, and at least in my case, he hasn’t done much to ease any of my fears about the change. I refuse to be an in-out patient. If the doctor can’t take more than 5 minutes with me for an appointment, then what’s the point? When I asked a question (gasp how dare I!) about diastolic blood pressure he looked at me like I’d grown two heads. He never did answer it either. And so I’ll be looking for a new doctor, and I may actually leave the clinic and pick one from the provider list at work. It just seems so sad to me. I should be the expert on my body and how it reacts to this and that and it would seem to me that my doctor and I should be working together.