ArizonaButterfly

Memorial Day

It is easily forgotten, year to
year, exactly where the plot is,
though the place is entirely familiar—
a willow tree by a curving roadway
sweeping black asphalt with tender leaves;

damp grass strewn with flower boxes,
canvas chairs, darkskinned old ladies
circling in draped black crepe family stones,
fingers cramped red at the knuckles, discolored
nails, fresh soil for new plants, old rosaries;

such fingers kneading the damp earth gently down
on new roots, black humus caught in grey hair
brushed back, and the single waterfaucet,
birdlike upon its grey pipe stem,
a stream opening at its foot.

We know the stories that are told,
by starts and stops, by bent men at strange joy
regarding the precise enactments of their own
gesturing. And among the women there will be
a naming of families, a counting off, an ordering.

The morning may be brilliant; the season
is one of brilliances—sunlight through
the fountained willow behind us, its splayed
shadow spreading westward, our shadows westward,
irregular across damp grass, the close-set stones.

It may be that since our walk there is faltering,
moving in careful steps around snow-on-the-mountain,
bluebells and zebragrass toward that place
between the willow and the waterfaucet, the way
is lost, that we have no practiced step there,
and walking, our own sway and balance, fails us.
Michael Anania

May 13, 1934-February 10, 2004
Today would have been my mom’s 74th birthday. It’s funny how much I still miss her and wish she were here. At the farmhouse she grew up in there were lilac bushes. Every spring she would talk about how the lilacs reminded her of spring. The smell of a lilac always reminds me of her. As her health deteriorated, however, even the smell of a lilac could not alleviate her struggle to breathe or do the simple tasks of life. As much as I miss her, I’m grateful she is not suffering anymore.

From When Lilacs Last in the Dooryard Bloom’d

In the dooryard fronting an old farm-house near the white-wash’d palings,
Stands the lilac-bush tall-growing with heart-shaped leaves of rich green,
With many a pointed blossom rising delicate, with the perfume strong I love,
With every leaf a miracle—and from this bush in the dooryard,
With delicate-color’d blossoms and heart-shaped leaves of rich green,
A sprig with its flower I break.
~Walt Whitman

Happy birthday, Mom. I love you.

Mother’s Day is bittersweet without my Mom. I think of her everyday and wish she were here, but days like today are just a little tougher and a little sadder.

Memory of You

Early one morning, I looked toward the blue
And saw the most beautiful memory of you
The vision was one that was perfect and clear
In proving your spirit shall always be near
The sight, filled with wonder, stretched across the sky
Its presence eased the ache found in our goodbye
For, suddenly, I knew we would meet once more
As angels, united, inside Heaven’s door.

I stood in amazement, gazing near the sun
And realized your struggles, here on earth, were done
After many battles, your burdens had ceased
Your hardships had ended; your soul was at peace
Throughout many hours, I sat and I grieved
But in that reminder, my heart felt relieved
The sight which had formed, right before my eyes
Brought my heart much comfort in the midst of sighs.

Early one morning, I looked ‘cross the blue
And saw the most beautiful memory of you
The vision was one that had prompted a tear
Yet, proved to my heart you will always be near
A rainbow had formed from the sky to the sea
A testament of the joy you brought to me
Serving as a promise we will meet again
In the walls of Heaven, far from grief and pain.
~Jill Eisnaugle

 It seems like just yesterday that she was a baby, but Nicole is 16 today. She’s grown into a beautiful young woman, both inside and out. Happy Birthday, Nicole! I love you.

It was a lovely Christmas.

Christmas Eve dinner went very well, although as usual there was way too much food. I broke my own drinking rule and mixed types of alcohol but only paid for it with a bit of a headache. I had a mix for Chocolate Peppermintinins, and while they were good, they wre also horribly sweet. I’m sure after having one I can make my own version next time. I managed to give away all the left over desserts, and some of the leftover food as well, which was good.

Christmas Day was quiet, but nice. The day started with the boys escaping into the neighbor’s yard. For some reason it was much easier for them to go down into the yard than it was to come back up into ours. Even a plate of leftover turkey wasn’t enough for them to be able to come back, although the neighbor’s much-smaller dogs had no problems coming over for the food and then returning to their own yard. I finally took leashes next door and the neighbor (who talks to himself pretty much nonstop) helped me bring them home. I quickly repositioned some concrete blocks to make sure that there’d be no more visiting for the remainder of the day.

It’s really cold (26F) this morning and so it’s hard to get out of my nice warm bed. The dogs just came in and are all cuddled up as well. I don’t plan to go shopping today, but I do have a few projects around the house I’d like to get done.

The turkey is roasting, the presents are wrapped, and the house is as clean as it’s going to get today. The boys are a bit put out because I won’t let them in the newly-cleaned house, but they’ll recover when they open their gifts later. Dinner is going to be around 4ish and so there really isn’t much else for me to do now but wait to put the yams and corn pudding in the oven.

In an interesting (?), well unusual, twist, some religious people came to the door this morning. I opened the door, Lucy went crazy and the man left without saying a word to me. I wasn’t disappointed.

I’ve never made Chocolate Pecan Pie before, but it really was very simple. Pecan Pie isn’t something I generally eat either, but I think it looks very similar to the ones I’ve seen in restaurants and stores.

After it cools, I’ll add the topping to the chocolate fudge pie.

Right now the cornbread for the stuffing is baking, and then I’m done cooking for the evening.

So I went to see National Treasure: Book of Secrets this afternoon. It was very entertaining in its own way and I’d recommend it, but I enjoyed the first movie more. For me, the premise of Book of Secrets was a bit more contrived and difficult to believe than the first one, which probably doesn’t make much sense since they’re both stretches. Anyway, it was a pleasant way to spend a few hours with good friends.

I have lots to do to get ready for dinner tomorrow afternoon but no real energy to do any of it at the moment. I may just bake the pies this evening and leave the cleaning for tomorrow morning.

The menu for tomorrow:

• Shrimp with Warm Coleslaw
• Relish Tray
• Cheese & Crackers
• Turkey
• Stuffing
• Mashed Potatoes
• Praline Yams
• Corn Pudding
•  Chocolate Cream Oreo Pie
• Bourbon Chocolate Pecan Pie
• Chocolate Peppermintinis

I suspect it looks like more work than it really is either that or I’m crazy for not being more stressed out over it. I still have a few presents to wrap as well, but that will be a quick chore.